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Visit any V&D or major store on a Saturday and you’ll witness the once proud Dutch lion being bossed around by his poorly dressed partner.Once you have a Dutchman he will expect you to bark orders at him like a circus trainer shouting at his animals.Expat women have also been known to visit hairdressers more than twice a year and they are also not strangers to wearing makeup.This can make the skittish and highly sensitive Dutchman extremely nervous.I guarantee that on your first date with a Dutchmen the standard uniform of Brown Shoes, Blue Jeans, a smart shirt and a suit jacket will be worn.This is because like their female counterparts, Dutch men believe firmly in Doe Maar Normaal, i.e.

If you do manage to bag yourself a Dutchmen, and end up moving in with him, you’ll be the witness to an incredible transformation. Dutch women, even though they typically only contribute less than 25% of income to the household, firmly rule the roost and wear the trousers at home.

Find a homeless person that fits your size, and then pay them some money to hand over their jeans which should be in a pretty poor state.

Wear the jeans, along with a pair of second hand boots purchased from Marktplaats (the Dutch Ebay) and for the rest of the outfit follow the example of Dutch women.

My advice, may be controversial, however, like Brian who was crucified on the cross for his beliefs or that great leader of the Roman slave rebellion of old, I will stand up, unafraid and shout out “I am Spartacus” without fear of the consequences. Every man is different, so of course I will have to generalise.

The tips I will provide are just ways of helping to at least get as far as a good conversation, or better still the things that expat women should not say to Dutch men.

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